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Lafayette, Louisiana
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and just not giving a fuck.


It's late. 4:38AM kinda late.  I'm exhausted...a week of no sleep has me running on fumes. Tonight seems to be no different.  Things have been on my mind recently that have been running me into the ground.  I finally had the balls to vent to my wonderful roommate about my current, stagnant situation.  I guess I'll start looking into different options as to which path to choose starting Monday night.

Tonight, I also ran into someone who has been part of a situation that has been disturbing me greatly this week.  I just needed to vent to him my thoughts/feelings on the situation and I'm sure he didn't care.  At least he made an effort to seem compassionate.  He's a good guy.  Never had any problems from him at all before.  It just so happens that Life has a funny way of looping around and screwing with each others' paths and emotions.  The world really is such a small place.

I still feel sick at the thought of the situation.  This situation may not even be as big as I'm making it.  It's really none of my business after a certain extent, but I just can't help feel hurt.  I think I just push people away.  I'll find someone every-like three years, and then I just become bitter and I tend to hone and nag on everything.  I'm just at a loss for words at everything.

Therefore, I need something--someplace--to make me feel uncomfortable again.  To distract me from my current trails, tribulations, and worries.  I feel like I'm meant for something so much more than staying in Lafayette, Louisiana four years too long.  I've drained this Well of Opportunity dry.

In almost three hours, I should be back up and preparing for my first visit to church in almost four years.  I'm desperate for comfort.  I need something to help me ease the pain.  Even though I have my issues with the church, etc., I need to hear some plan of action for one's supposed life.  I would just like to see if anything might help me in the long run.

But who knows, I could sleep right through my set alarm.

Until then,

good night.



I'm so angry.  I don't even know what to say or how to say it. I suppose I'm more hurt and shocked than anything else.  I don't even know if I should just try and shake it off or confront this person about the issue.

I think I'll just take a hot shower and think on it.


how mysterious, confusing and painful,

b e a u t i f u l , 
love is.

this song will haunt me

fir the rest of my life, but i'm absolutely okay with that.